Friday, May 28, 2004



so charles has lost part of his art collection.
boo-hoo.
lest we forget - charles and brother maurice, as partners in the saatchi & saatchi advertising agency were, throughout the dreadful eighties, enthusiastic supporters of margaret (she whose name must only be spoken whilst hawking loudly and spitting thrice onto her as-yet-unoccupied but slowly and relentlessly yawning grave) thatcher and major donors to the conservative party - a group of barely human beings whose inability to distinguish art from shit is as much a precondition of membership as their inability to say sorry - for a catalogue of crimes as long as history itself.
margaret (*spit*) thatcher's only contribution to history was to cut free classroom milk to schoolkids, shamelessly suck american dick (a lesson tony blair learnt at her feet), declare war on Argentina and the coal miners, and shit the $ onto everything she could think of that threatened her uptight control-freak image of the universe : $hit $chools, $hit $ocial $ervices, $hit NH$, and $hit Art$. people like charles saatchi were her fawning sycophants, burrowing their noses deep into her ├╝bertight arse in return for some pathetic favour or other.
charles is a totally dysfunctional human being whose taste in art is transparently valueless: how can an advertising executive know anything about art?
it's very simple: art is about truth - advertising is about lies.
just because he happens to be as rich as croesus, the fine art world - naturally - has capitulated to his every pathetic whim, so that whomsoever he has chosen to bless with his approval has suddenly become the greatest modern artist in the world, ever, and their art has been sold for lots and lots and lots of money.
so now there's been a fire in his warehouse, and it's all gone.
(note - no-one could actually see this art - it was stashed in a warehouse - a very big safe - it's purpose was to sit there and accrue value.)
and now it's all gone.
and, because the art world has become as completely alienated from the real world as dubya and tony, no-one gives a monkeys.
apart from the insurers, who are going to have to find a ripe £50m - which is all it's ever been about, anyway - and the odd critic whose career depends on his continuing to insist that the nude emperor's clothes are just simply - why won't you common people see? - ravishing.

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